How to Reevaluate Your Life During Social-Distancing
We are living in some strange times.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve been oscillating between anger, despair, boredom, relief, gratitude, more anger, fear, with a sprinkle of happiness here and there. More than likely, these emotions are truly based in reality, as so many of us have been personally impacted by the hurricane of COVID-19. While you may not be battling the coronavirus yourself, you probably know someone who is at this very moment. And if you don’t, it’s only a matter of time.
I don’t say this to scare anyone, I say this to offer empathy. We are all in this together.
So instead of focusing on the harrowing realities of our new normal, I’d like to focus on the silver lining that coronavirus has offered us: perspective.
All of us have come face to face with what our life offers us – whether it’s a fulfilling, stable career, supportive friends and family, entertaining and challenging hobbies, or adoring pets who allow the time to go by faster. But we’ve also gotten extremely familiar with what we’d like our lives to hold as well. With extra time comes extra reflection, whether we like it or not.
So I can’t think of a better time to reevaluate our lives and figure out what we’d like to shed and what we’d like to add. It’s time to reevaluate your life. Let’s get started.
First and foremost – people are going to be what keeps us sane during this time of social distancing. While we can’t embrace each other to ease the anxiety, we can regularly check in, connect, and see each other thanks to the power of technology. Without positive influences in our life, it’s going to be all too easy to sink into the fear and despair.
While it’s important to honor the time with action and grief, it’s also a necessity to find the relief in this chaos. We have to be able to find joy in the now.
So it’s time to reassess who is in your life currently, and what you’re lacking. Are you feeling supported? Loved? Cared for? Do you still feel connected and a part of your social network? Do you hang up your calls feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and grateful for your friends and family?
These are important questions to answer. If the answer is continuously “no” – then ask yourself why. Is it because you tend to be surrounded by negativity? Is it because you don’t do a good job reaching out to people, and therefore your calls are infrequent? Is it because your friends and family don’t seem to care about your well-being?
If you’re not satisfied with the people in your life, this is the time to make the change. I totally understand that this might feel counterintuitive, because it’s going to be pretty difficult to meet new people.
But on the flip side – we are all bored. We are all thirsty for connection.
We all have time for an extra Zoom happy hour or HouseParty game. So don’t be afraid to reach out to your friend from high school whom you haven’t spoken to in years. Call up your old colleague and see how they’re doing. Reach out to people you have always admired but weren’t confident they would have time to hang out.
It’s time to invite positive people into your life and phase the negative ones out. There’s too much negative in the world right now to justify having any unnecessary excess of it in your home.
And remember to lean on the good eggs in your life. They need you just as much as you need them.
I have to give credit to my mother for this entire post. See, she’s an independent, hard-working, happily single woman living her best life in Dallas. Her lifestyle revolved around working as a CFO, spending time with friends, calling her children who live on separate coasts (we truly did not make it easy on her), working out, and cooking.
I think we would both say that she was relatively happy. Up until coronavirus came and upended just about everything.
While she isn’t miserable necessarily, this time alone has made her see that she’s actually way more interested in dating than she previously thought. Sure, she would have the occasional “I wish a man would come in here and squash this gross bug” pang – but otherwise she was extremely self-sufficient and probably didn’t see a HUGE need for a partner on most occasions.
But now, she’s singing a different tune. And don’t kick yourself if you are, either.
This era of social distancing is currently shedding new light on relationships everywhere. I’m sure some of you have realized that perhaps you like the person you’ve been dating.…but not enough to quarantine with them. Some have experienced the opposite (I’m hoping for an uptick in proposals as people realize they want to be with their S.O. in good times and in bad). Many single people are finding themselves genuinely motivated to find a relationship; while many attached people are scratching their heads wondering how they got into this relationship in the first place.
This is all I ask of you: be honest with yourself.
If you’re in a long-term relationship and thanking your lucky stars you’re not quarantining together, then this might not be the relationship for you. If you’re single and really wishing you had a mate right now, then take that seriously. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship right now and are finding it challenging to get along, examine the core issue and try to solve it. And if you’re going through or *about* to go through a breakup right now – we have you covered.
Take this as an opportunity to create a baseline of desire. You’re not going to experience an easier time to get clear about what it is you want.
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